I suggest checking out "Bad Ronald." A fantastic made for tv epic.



Today, I burnt my tongue/roof of my mouth whilst eating instant wontans. Oh how it pains me so! My roof is also leaking again. It makes me want to squeal.

Last night I went to Gladstones in Malibu. It was a lovely evening that included one and one half pounds of crab legs. I kept placing the crablegs on my lady's plate. Maybe it was the maithai, or maybe it was the crab legs, but I started pretending to be an abusive father when my date began to refuse my offerings of crab legs.

"Eat the crab legs you fucking cunt!"

I believe that something to the affect of, "Do you like your puppy? Well unless you eat the god damn crab legs I'm going to snap it's fucking neck!"

At the time it was hilarious, we laughed. But when I see it written out like that well ...it's still hilarious. It has been astoundingly warm out. At the beach it was also oddly warm out at night. I love the ocean and sea creatures. I will never swim in the ocean. I don't swim.

Later that night we drove down Pico and passed a puppy store. The store had one of those weird Korea Town-ish signs that are all weird and sterile looking. The sign had a group of puppies sitting together. I said, "Those puppies are dead!" They probably are.